Home > Style > Six tips to avoid looking like a hot mess

Six tips to avoid looking like a hot mess

Alexis Kowaleski,
Grand Central Magazine

Eric Calabro peeks over his shoulder at "hot messes" Caitlin Ware and Courtney Grafuis as they model fashion crimes. Just call them "Too Layered Lisa" and "Pancake Makeup McGee". Photograph by Leslie Moe
(Click here for more images.)

Take off your door-knocker earrings, your big chunky rings and all 80 of your gold bangles and return to what your mother taught you – simplicity speaks volumes.

Everyone wants to stand out, make their fashion mark and be sure that every person we come in contact with will remember us for good looks, not a mess of an ensemble.

But wearing too much makeup, over-accessorizing, and wearing clothes that are louder than you are will definitely get you marked down as a hot mess.

The key is always simplicity.

Choose one thing that will be the voice of your ensemble (brightly colored shoes, for example), and make everything else just complimentary pieces.

It may be hard to say goodbye to going over the top, but the eyes of society will thank you.

Step 1: Deflate your ego, then your hair

Big hair is best when you just wake up and it’s easy to do. Lets face it, you feel like the lead singer of Poison for at least a few hours. However, the big and sexy look you’re going for can also make you look like you are queen of the gutter rats. It may look good at first. But after a long, windblown walk through campus, your hair now looks like you woke up in a ditch and were late for your chemistry lab. Let’s leave big hair where it belongs – in Texas.

Step 2: Your earrings should compliment your ears, not your entire head

I am a product of the ‘80s. In my younger years, I was victimized by the trend of big, loud, plastic earrings. But now I’m an adult who knows the difference between having fun with jewelry, and wearing jewelry. You should be the one wearing your earrings, not the one being worn down by chandeliers. Your earrings should be no bigger than half the size of your ears.

Step 3: Turn down your makeup, I can’t take you seriously

Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that bright colors are back this summer. Bright make up is – and has always been – a fun way to express your love for neon green and hot pinks. These overly bright colors, though fun and appropriate for the runway, are scary and clown-like when done in the real world. Unless you are a trained makeup artist, please do not attempt to color your face with a highlighter.

Such a thing exists as too much of a good thing! Courtney demonstrates what NOT to do when applying makeup. Too dark eyeshadow and eyeliner can make your eyes look smaller and tired. Match your foundation to your skin tone correctly by testing on your wrist before buying. Remember, "blend and extend", blending your foundation in well and extending onto your neck to avoid the dreaded makeup line. Just because your face ends at your jaw bone, doesn't mean that your makeup should! Photograph by Leslie Moe
(Click here for more images.)

Step 4: Take it off – or at least a few layers

Layering in Michigan is important because, as we all know, in the morning it’s usually 30 degrees. And by lunch, it has reached 65 degrees outside. But come 5 p.m., it’s raining and you forgot an umbrella. Note that none of these weather conditions requires three different colored tank tops, leggings with leg warmers (which I never understood because they did not in fact warm my legs), a purse and a backpack. Pick one tank top, one long sleeved shirt, one jacket, one bag and one pair of leg-covering material, and leave it at that. Wearing too many layers only makes you look frumpy and messy.

Step 5: Relax, not all of us are fashion majors

We get it, you know how to dress yourself. You, along with everybody else, have been dressing yourself for quite some time now. There is no need to try to impress people with your fashion knowledge by overdressing. Stick to one obsession and leave it at that. If your ensemble calls for gold accessories, then one piece of gold jewelry will do the job just fine. Draping yourself in gold (or any other metal) is blinding and obnoxious. I don’t care if you’re Lil’ Jon or the girl in my English class – cut it out, you look ridiculous.

Step 6: Did that ever fit you?
One week you’re a size five, next week you’re a size nine. Whatever you look like on a given day, make sure your clothes fit. Nothing makes you look like a bigger mess than swimming in your clothes, or even worse, stretching them until they rip. When you’re too
small for your clothes, you look like a dirty version of Mary Kate Olsen. When your clothes are too small for you, your muffin top makes the girls that aren’t too small for their clothes sick. Take a deep breath, own the size you really are, be happy with what you look like, and have your clothes reflect that. If you don’t, you’ll suffer the consequences of being a hot mess.